In today's T4D email newsletter Kirk Weisler paraphrases an article by Orson Scott Card the author of Enders Game (one of my top 5 books of all time). Below is Kirk's take on Comparisons. Those of you who know me have heard similar thoughts form me on this subject. I am not as eloquent as Kirk or Orson but I believe comparisons have very little merit. We should be able to judge ourselves without comparing to others and we should focus on the future and use the past for learning and not for condemnation, regret, or pride. Anyway enjoy Kirk's take on the subject and the link to the full article is at the end of this article.

NOTE!!! I HIGHLY RECOMMEND YOU READ THE ORIGINAL ARTICLE BY ORSON SCOTT CARD!

Now really…anyone who has ever read Ender's Game knows there is no comparing this wonderful book to another. The vast majority of those who have read it have done so multiple times. I loved it so much that I read it cover to cover twice in 24 hours. Since then I have easily read it 8 more times. For more on the book.. http://www.hatrack.com/osc/books/endersgame/endersgame.shtmlmor

But today's T4D is not about the book….but the author. Over the weekend I came across a wonderful article he wrote for a church publication. It's a bit lengthy so I will edit it as best I can to provide the principle without the preaching. I will also provide a link at the end for those who may want the full meal. I would like to title his piece…

"COMPARISON'S ARE A WASTE OF TIME" – We take stock of our lives, from time to time. As some milestone approaches — a birthday, a new year — we look back and assess ourselves.

It's good to ask ourselves, "How am I doing?" But it's sad when we use such times to compare ourselves to other people.

Some people compare in order to gloat. Both David Merrick and Gore Vidal have been quoted as saying, more or less, "It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail."

Some people compare in order to excuse themselves. They see other people's successes and say, "They got all the luck. I just can't catch a break." As if there were nothing they could do now to improve their place in life.

Some compare in order to beat themselves up. "Here I am, 30 years old, and look what other 30-year-olds have accomplished! I'm a failure."

I know very well an accomplished woman, keenly intelligent, who has influenced the lives of many for good — but she has always felt like a failure because she had neither money nor a bachelor's degree.

Yet I know many women with wealth, with doctorates, who would regard her as the most fortunate of women and wish they had accomplished what she has.

All my life I've loved to sing, and over the years, without any formal training, I improved my voice to the point where, in my 40s, I was able to sing all the high parts in the chorus of "My Fair Lady." I sing in the church choir and take pleasure in singing with family and friends.

Yet as I now age out of that high tenor range, I feel keenly the fact that I didn't do more with my voice. I compare myself to real singers and feel as if I failed.

Yet it's what I chose. I spent my effort on writing fiction, plays and screenplays. The singers I compare myself to practiced constantly. They took every opportunity to perform. They honed their skills.

I was once invited to take part as one of the soloists in a performance of "The Messiah." It was a moment when I really had to face the difference between my dreams and my achievements. I knew what I expected, as an audience member, from a "Messiah" soloist. I also knew that, if I worked hard for months, I could probably do it.

But I did not have the time to put in that work. I had writing deadlines to meet. I had speeches to give, meetings to travel to, friends to visit with, books to read in order to have something to write or say.

And at that moment I realized the difference between ambition and daydreaming. My degree of "success" at singing reflects exactly the amount of effort I put into it.

There is no life without missed opportunities which will never come again. What is the point of regretting that I chose this, when I might have chosen that, unless what I chose was sin? Then I must change.

But the past cannot be undone. We must change ourselves so that from here on we will do right.

That is all that any of us can do: Choose the path we will follow from now on.

Fortunately, the path of change is always only one step away. We have merely to take that step and begin to move forward on the better or right road.

If this is true of our choices between right and wrong, why should we waste even a moment regretting choices that have no moral component?

Perhaps you didn't get a college degree on the same schedule as others; perhaps you didn't marry when you might have, or have children at the age you now wish you had begun, or make less money than you might have in a different career.

Those years are gone, and you learned from them whatever you learned, and gave to others whatever you gave. No one else lived your life — they lived their own. Comparisons are a waste of time.

Let us look at what is still possible for us in the future, find the best use of the time we have left and then eagerly pursue the good causes that are within our reach.

Don't look at others to compare, but rather to offer help, or ask for it.

Don't look backward with regret, but rather forward with hope.

For the full and unedited article …click HERE