Philosophy - Blog

1/19/2010

In today's T4D email newsletter Kirk Weisler paraphrases an article by Orson Scott Card the author of Enders Game (one of my top 5 books of all time). Below is Kirk's take on Comparisons. Those of you who know me have heard similar thoughts form me on this subject. I am not as eloquent as Kirk or Orson but I believe comparisons have very little merit. We should be able to judge ourselves without comparing to others and we should focus on the future and use the past for learning and not for condemnation, regret, or pride. Anyway enjoy Kirk's take on the subject and the link to the full article is at the end of this article.

NOTE!!! I HIGHLY RECOMMEND YOU READ THE ORIGINAL ARTICLE BY ORSON SCOTT CARD!

Now really…anyone who has ever read Ender's Game knows there is no comparing this wonderful book to another. The vast majority of those who have read it have done so multiple times. I loved it so much that I read it cover to cover twice in 24 hours. Since then I have easily read it 8 more times. For more on the book.. http://www.hatrack.com/osc/books/endersgame/endersgame.shtmlmor

But today's T4D is not about the book….but the author. Over the weekend I came across a wonderful article he wrote for a church publication. It's a bit lengthy so I will edit it as best I can to provide the principle without the preaching. I will also provide a link at the end for those who may want the full meal. I would like to title his piece…

"COMPARISON'S ARE A WASTE OF TIME" – We take stock of our lives, from time to time. As some milestone approaches — a birthday, a new year — we look back and assess ourselves.

It's good to ask ourselves, "How am I doing?" But it's sad when we use such times to compare ourselves to other people.

Some people compare in order to gloat. Both David Merrick and Gore Vidal have been quoted as saying, more or less, "It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail."

Some people compare in order to excuse themselves. They see other people's successes and say, "They got all the luck. I just can't catch a break." As if there were nothing they could do now to improve their place in life.

Some compare in order to beat themselves up. "Here I am, 30 years old, and look what other 30-year-olds have accomplished! I'm a failure."

I know very well an accomplished woman, keenly intelligent, who has influenced the lives of many for good — but she has always felt like a failure because she had neither money nor a bachelor's degree.

Yet I know many women with wealth, with doctorates, who would regard her as the most fortunate of women and wish they had accomplished what she has.

All my life I've loved to sing, and over the years, without any formal training, I improved my voice to the point where, in my 40s, I was able to sing all the high parts in the chorus of "My Fair Lady." I sing in the church choir and take pleasure in singing with family and friends.

Yet as I now age out of that high tenor range, I feel keenly the fact that I didn't do more with my voice. I compare myself to real singers and feel as if I failed.

Yet it's what I chose. I spent my effort on writing fiction, plays and screenplays. The singers I compare myself to practiced constantly. They took every opportunity to perform. They honed their skills.

I was once invited to take part as one of the soloists in a performance of "The Messiah." It was a moment when I really had to face the difference between my dreams and my achievements. I knew what I expected, as an audience member, from a "Messiah" soloist. I also knew that, if I worked hard for months, I could probably do it.

But I did not have the time to put in that work. I had writing deadlines to meet. I had speeches to give, meetings to travel to, friends to visit with, books to read in order to have something to write or say.

And at that moment I realized the difference between ambition and daydreaming. My degree of "success" at singing reflects exactly the amount of effort I put into it.

There is no life without missed opportunities which will never come again. What is the point of regretting that I chose this, when I might have chosen that, unless what I chose was sin? Then I must change.

But the past cannot be undone. We must change ourselves so that from here on we will do right.

That is all that any of us can do: Choose the path we will follow from now on.

Fortunately, the path of change is always only one step away. We have merely to take that step and begin to move forward on the better or right road.

If this is true of our choices between right and wrong, why should we waste even a moment regretting choices that have no moral component?

Perhaps you didn't get a college degree on the same schedule as others; perhaps you didn't marry when you might have, or have children at the age you now wish you had begun, or make less money than you might have in a different career.

Those years are gone, and you learned from them whatever you learned, and gave to others whatever you gave. No one else lived your life — they lived their own. Comparisons are a waste of time.

Let us look at what is still possible for us in the future, find the best use of the time we have left and then eagerly pursue the good causes that are within our reach.

Don't look at others to compare, but rather to offer help, or ask for it.

Don't look backward with regret, but rather forward with hope.

For the full and unedited article …click HERE

Posted at 9:22 AM by LEEALLEN-SP1\lee.allen | Category: Philosophy | Permalink | Email this Post | Comments (0)

9/24/2008

Curing Victimitis

Michael Josephson
http://www.charactercounts.org/

Watch your thoughts; they lead to attitudes.
Watch your attitudes; they lead to words.
Watch your words; they lead to actions.
Watch your actions; they lead to habits.
Watch your habits; they form your character.
Watch your character; it determines your destiny.

These words of unknown origin tell us that our silent and often subconscious choices shape our future. Every aspect of our lives, at home and at work, can be improved if we use our power to think, reflect, and make conscious choices about our thoughts, attitudes, words, actions, and habits.

Instead, many of us think of ourselves as victims. We complain about our circumstances and what others did to us. Whatever psychological comfort there is in feeling powerless and blameless when things aren’t going right, in the end, victims lead unsatisfied lives.

We’re most vulnerable to victimitis when we’re under the influence of powerful emotions like fear, insecurity, anger, frustration, grief, or depression. These feelings are so powerful, we believe our state of mind is inevitable. Our only hope is they will go away on their own. Yet it’s during times of emotional tumult that using our power to choose our thoughts and attitudes is most important. We can’t make pain go away, but we can refuse to suffer.

Even when we don’t like any of our choices, we do have some – once we realize we can take control. It isn’t easy, but what we do and how we choose to feel about ourselves has a profound impact on the quality of our lives. Victims may get sympathy for a while, but that isn’t enough.

Taking personal responsibility for our happiness and success can be scary, but the payoff is enormous. Although we can’t make our lives perfect, we can make them better – usually a lot better.

Posted at 12:12 PM by LEEALLEN-SP1\lee.allen | Category: Philosophy | Permalink | Email this Post | Comments (0)

8/27/2008

A Weighty Matter - The Art of Guided Perception

The following story from the book "Beyond Illusions" The Magic of Positive Perception authored by Brad Barton

I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened. — Mark Twain

Have you ever created disaster out of nothing but perception? Ever created a 'reality' that wasn't 'real' even though your 'facts' were just as 'true' as your interpretation of them - then tried to prove that your disastrous interpretation was true? Confused? Read on…

My young friend, Heidi, went to a department store to buy a specific type of knit uniform pants required for her new job. She tried on the poorly tailored, tight-fitting, polyester pants, stood in front of the three piece mirror and, to her horror, realized the awful pants made her look fat. In the changing room, she grimly considered her options. Heidi really needed her job, and the pants were a sad requirement; so, she reluctantly took the pants to the cashier.

It was mid-December and the store was bustling with Christmas shoppers. In front of the line was an elderly woman asking about a tailored jacket for her granddaughter.

Must be a size 3! Heidi thought, as she watched the sales clerk hold it up admiringly.

Next, two teenagers faced a dilemma about which outfit would look best at their upcoming party and dance recital. Heidi tried to smile at them. They look absolutely anorexic, she thought, as she looked down at the polyester pants she was about to purchase. You'd think they'd make some effort to pick a uniform that looked good on everyone.

The lengthy wait became more difficult as she observed each thin attractive customer, carrying equally beautiful clothes - not ugly ones like the stupid knit pants Heidi was forced to buy. There were three cash registers, but only one clerk, and she looked exhausted, but slim and attractive in a blue, belted, shirt-dress, which accentuated her waist and made her look authoritative and businesslike.

She's probably the department manager, or at least on her way up the ladder, Heidi thought.

She found herself analyzing every man, woman and child in the store during that twenty minute trek to the check out. They all appeared to possess possibilities Heidi lacked. They seemed more educated, more talented, more attractive, more self-confident and slimmer than Heidi. Finally, there was only one person before her turn to be helped. Heidi's torment was almost over when it got even worse.

A handsome young man, about her own age, opened another register as the first clerk said, "I'm sorry. It will just be a couple of minutes while Jim gets his register going." And she locked her drawer and walked away.

Two more minutes? As if that wasn't enough, she would be served by a handsome young man with dark penetrating eyes and a smile that could sell anything on the floor. Heidi laid the pants over her arm and started fumbling through her purse for her checkbook so the transaction wouldn't take any longer than necessary. I think I'm going to be sick.

"Did you find what you were looking for?" came the clerk's friendly, tenor voice.

Suddenly, Heidi saw herself standing in front of that three-way mirror again in the ugly pants. The FAT pants. I'm fat. I'm fat. I'm fat! was all she could think.

The clerk leaned toward her, apologetically, "I am so sorry about your weight."

Heidi threw the pants at the startled clerk, burst into tears, and ran from the store. Halfway home, still sobbing, she suddenly realized what the sales clerk meant. He was not criticizing her weight; he was sincerely apologizing for her twenty-minute wait!

Have you ever done what Heidi did? Created a disaster out of nothing but misguided perception? Have you ever taken offense at a co-worker's comment and worked it up in your mind to the level of an in-office Hiroshima? Did you end up feeling embarrassed? Worse, you may have never found out that the offending party was actually innocent and well-intended.

Often, people let such incidents smolder until they fade into the background noise of why they never liked that person in the first place. Have you ever negatively interpreted a comment or a look from your spouse or significant other, and then shot back an emotionally charged reaction and created the very conflict your misguided perception anticipated? Many of our negative experiences and feelings are of our own making. Our perceptions and interpretations powerfully influence our responses and reactions. All too often, they create the very thing - the very reality - we fear out of (drumroll please) absolutely nothing.

You see what amazing wizards we are? We have the power to create our own reality - beautiful or ugly - out of nothing more than perception. The question is, if our perceptions and interpretations can create disaster - or the illusion of disaster - can the same power magically create a new positive reality of beauty, opportunity, or even great humor out of the same circumstance? If you can create your own reality, you can create fortune out of misfortune, opportunity out of failure, possibility out of stagnation, and self- fulfillment out of emptiness. How? By simply looking at it differently.

You can magically change your life by changing how you perceive events and how you see yourself. This is what I call: "The Art of Guided Perception."

This book is available for purchase at http://www.morebetterbooks.com/.

Posted at 2:30 PM by LEEALLEN-SP1\lee.allen | Category: Philosophy | Permalink | Email this Post | Comments (0)

8/14/2008

Lessons in Life By Regina Brett

Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
When in doubt, just take the next small step.
Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
Pay off your credit cards every month.
You don’t have to win every argument. Agree todisagree.
Cry with someone. It’s more healing than cryingalone.
It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.
It’s OK to let your children see you cry.
Don’t compare your life to others’. You have noidea what their journeyis all about.
If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’tbe in it.
Everything can change in the blink of an eye. Butdon’t worry; Godnever blinks.
Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busyliving, or get busydying.
You can get through anything if you stay put in today.
A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.
It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one isup to you and no one else.
When it comes to going after what you love in life,don’t take no for ananswer.
Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancylingerie. Don’tsave it for a special occasion. Today is special.
Over prepare, then go with the flow.
Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wearpurple.
The most important sex organ is the brain.
No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
Frame every so-called disaster with these words: ‘In five years, will this matter?’
Always choose life.
Forgive everyone, everything.
What other people think of you is none of yourbusiness.
Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will.Stay in touch.
Believe in miracles.
God loves you because of who God is, not because ofanything you did ordidn’t do.
Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make youstronger.
Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.
Your children get only one childhood. Make itmemorable.
Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.
Get outside every day. Miracles are waitingeverywhere.
If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyoneelse’s, we’dgrab ours back.
Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful orjoyful.
All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
The best is yet to come.
No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
If you don’t ask, you don’t get.
Yield.
Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still agift.

Posted at 9:14 AM by LEEALLEN-SP1\lee.allen | Category: Philosophy | Permalink | Email this Post | Comments (0)

7/30/2008

OUR CHARACTER IS SHOWN BY

from Kirk's T4D email Newsletter

Friend Bob Dieter forwarded this bit from WalktheTalk.com… thanks Bob!

OUR CHARACTER IS SHOWN BY…

The jokes we CHOOSE to share…and not to share.
The derogatory terms we CHOOSE to use…and refuse to use.
The promises we CHOOSE to break…and the ones we keep.
The rumors we CHOOSE to spread…and those we ignore.
The resources we CHOOSE to waste…and those we use wisely.
The lies we CHOOSE to tell…and not to tell.
The responsibilities we CHOOSE to accept…and those we shirk.
The courtesies we CHOOSE to extend…and fail to extend.
The efforts we CHOOSE to put forth…and not put forth.
The quality we CHOOSE to provide…and the corners we cut.
The information we CHOOSE to share…and that which we hoard.
The listening we CHOOSE to do and not do.
The respect we CHOOSE to give…and fail to give.
The helpful hands we CHOOSE to extend…and those we keep in our pockets.

A great reminder that it’s better to have character…than to just be one.

Kirk

Posted at 5:19 PM by LEEALLEN-SP1\lee.allen | Category: Philosophy | Permalink | Email this Post | Comments (0)

7/22/2008

The brain simply believes what you tell it most

I share these supporting thoughts from the book “What to Say when you talk to Yourself” authored by Shad Helmstetter PhD. Could it be that those who appear to be “luckier” than the rest have actually only gotten a little better programming, or perhaps have learned how to erase their old negative programming and replace it with something better?

I was shocked to learn the simplicity of one small fact: You will become what you think about most; your success or failure in anything, large or small, will depend on your programming–what you accept from others, and what you say when you talk to yourself.

It is no longer a success theory; it is a simple, but powerful fact. Neither luck nor desire has the slightest thing to do with it. It makes no difference whether we believe it or not. The brain simply believes what you tell it most. And what you tell it about you, it will create. It has no choice.

Posted at 4:25 PM by LEEALLEN-SP1\lee.allen | Category: Philosophy | Permalink | Email this Post | Comments (0)

7/11/2008

A Grenade, A Helmet And A Choice By Ron White

from Kirk's T4D

His name was Jason Dunham and he was a corporal in the US Marines. The story picks up with Jason as he was talking with the men in his unit. They wondered whether a person could jump on a grenade and survive by putting it under their helmet. Deep down they all most likely knew that it wouldn’t work - yet on the streets of Baghdad soon all topics of conversation can become quickly exhausted, and hypothetical solutions to real life problems can pass the time.

Unfortunately for Jason Dunham, the circumstance that he had hypothesized about arrived just a few weeks later. However, fortunately for his unit Corporal Jason Dunham was there. In this life and death scenario there is no time to think. There is only time for fight or flight. Jason chose fight and performed above and beyond the call of duty. He threw his helmet and body over the grenade and gave his life for his friends. Jason was nominated for The Congressional Medal of Honor. He was twenty years old.

Your stance on political matters or world issues is irrelevant in this scenario. Jason did not do this for you, he did not do it for the people of Baghdad, he didn’t do it for the US Government or a politician. He did it for the men beside him - period.

To give your life for your friends the greatest thing one person can do for another. It is also one of the rarest acts of civilization.

In 1981, shots rang out as bullets screamed through the air to pierce the flesh of the fortieth President of The United States. No sooner had the gun powder been ignited than Secret Service agent Tim McCarthy stood up as straight as a board and extended his arms to make himself a large barrier between John Hinckley and President Reagan. While others ran for cover agent McCarthy stood looking directly as his potential death with firm resolve. Tim was shot square in the chest and believe it or not that was exactly his goal. As he positioned himself spread eagle to take a bullet for a man, an office and a nation others cowered in trembling fear. Because of amazing grace agent McCarthy survived.

What causes men and women to lay down their lives for another? It takes a lot. First and foremost it takes a realization that life isn’t about you. It is about making a difference, making an impact and it is about giving.

Jason Dunham and Tim McCarthy were able to respond the way they did because:

They decided how they were going to respond long before the event occurred.
They were not selfish people - the farthest you could be from selfish as a matter of fact.

• They realized that life was not about them it was about making a difference - it was about others.

I hope with all my heart you are never placed in a situation where you have to choose between your life and those around you. Yet, everyday you are in situations where you have to make choices. You must decide right now how you will respond.

The lesson to extract from the lives of Corporal Dunham and Agent McCarthy is that of an overall attitude on life. That attitude simply put is that it is better to give than receive. It is honorable to view the lives and well being of others above yourself. If we can take any pearl of wisdom from the extraordinary lives and attitudes of these two men it is that making an impact on the world is not always about recognition, power, money or personal gain. Sometimes the greatest success is one who gives himself up so others can succeed. That is the mark of the ultimate high achiever.

Decide today how you will respond in your moments of crisis - whether it is financial, personal or life and death. As you make your plan your actions, remember the selfless lessons of Corporal Dunham and Agent McCarthy.

Posted at 9:14 AM by LEEALLEN-SP1\lee.allen | Category: Philosophy | Permalink | Email this Post | Comments (0)

6/13/2008

Between stimulus and response…

(from Kirk's T4D based on 7 Habits from Stephen Covey)

Increasing Response Time

Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.

STIMULUS = FREEDOM TO CHOOSE = RESPONSE

What we all need is a “pause button”-something that enables us to stop between what happens to us and our response to it, and to choose our own response. It is possible for us as individuals to develop this capacity to pause. It is possible to act rather than react.

We can step back and examine our lives and our behavior. The first step is self-awareness.

Self-awareness: As humans we can stand apart form our own life and observe it. We can look at our thoughts. We can then decide to change our thoughts and behavior.

Conscience: Moral or ethical sense, or inner voice. It is the hardware of our soul.

Imagination: The ability to envision something entirely different from past experiences. It is seeing yourself responding differently.

Independent will: The power to take action. The internal power we all have to be our “best self”. The decision to recommit, to win the battles privately, to set personal goals, and identify motives and values. The essence of true happiness is subordinating what we want now for what we want eventually.

The four principles reside in the space we humans have between what happens to us and our response to it. The fact that we have these four gifts means no one has to be a victim.

Posted at 10:17 AM by LEEALLEN-SP1\lee.allen | Category: Philosophy | Permalink | Email this Post | Comments (0)

6/12/2008

Enough Time versus Enough Life - from Scott Koon (Kirk T4D)

Merri attended a funeral yesterday. One of the people that spoke delivered a message that she said really stuck with her. While I only heard it second hand, it struck a chord with me as well.

The woman said…
Everyone is always saying I don’t have enough time…
…To spend with the kids,
…To visit my parents,
…To stop and smell the roses.

Would that change if you replaced ‘time’ with ‘life left’? Perhaps then it would be “I don’t have enough life left…
…To stay late at the office,
…To stay angry at a family member,
…To put off getting my degree,
…To wait to say I love you.”

Hmmm… Powerful.
Peace!

Scott K.

Posted at 7:56 AM by LEEALLEN-SP1\lee.allen | Category: Philosophy | Permalink | Email this Post | Comments (0)

5/29/2008

BELIEVE WHILE OTHERS … by William Arthur Ward

Believe while others are doubting.

Plan while others are playing.

Study while others are sleeping.

Decide while others are delaying.

Prepare while others are daydreaming.

Begin while others are procrastinating.

Work while others are wishing.

Save while others are wasting.

Listen while others are talking.

Smile while others are frowning.

Commend while others are criticizing.

Persist while others are quitting.

Day by day, what you do is who you become.

Posted at 2:41 PM by LEEALLEN-SP1\lee.allen | Category: Philosophy | Permalink | Email this Post | Comments (0)

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